Why Your Life Doesn't Match Your Vision (and what to do about it)

You know exactly what you want your life to look like. 

You can see it so clearly…the business that lights you up, the relationships that nourish you, the daily rhythm that feels aligned with your soul. You've done the vision boards, written the affirmations, maybe even hired coaches to help you get there.

But somehow, there's this persistent, maddening gap between what your soul knows is possible and what your actual life looks like. 

Your bank account doesn't reflect your worth.
Your calendar is still packed with things that drain you.
You're still playing smaller than you know you're capable of.

And despite all the inner work you've done, despite how much you've grown and healed, you keep finding yourself stuck in the same patterns.

If this sounds familiar, I need you to know something: It's not because you're not trying hard enough. It's not because you lack clarity or commitment. And it's definitely not because your vision isn't meant for you.

The real reason your life doesn't match your vision has everything to do with something most personal development approaches completely miss: your nervous system. 

And I don 't mean the 30-second TikTok somatic shaking or surface level "regulation" tips…I'm talking about the deep, subconscious programming that's been running your life since childhood. (Sorry to burst anyone’s bubble, but no you can’t release generations of trauma by twerking.) 

The Gap Between Your Vision and Reality Has Nothing To Do With Mindset

Here's what I've learned after working with thousands of spiritual entrepreneurs who struggle with this exact gap: Your nervous system has veto power over every vision, goal, and dream you set.

Think about it this way: your conscious mind might be 100% on board with your vision. You might genuinely want that six (seven or even eight) figure business, that authentic relationship, that life of freedom and impact. But if your nervous system perceives any part of that vision as threatening to your survival, safety, or belonging, it will quietly sabotage your efforts to get there.

But know this! It happens completely below your conscious awareness.

You don't wake up thinking, "Today I'm going to sabotage my dreams." Instead, you might find yourself:

• Procrastinating on the exact tasks that would move you forward
• Getting sick right before big opportunities
• Creating drama in your relationships when things start going well
• Feeling inexplicably exhausted when you try to work on your goals
• Making decisions that keep you small and safe instead of expansive and aligned

Your nervous system is brilliant at keeping you within the bounds of what it considers "safe,” which is usually whatever you've already experienced and survived. That means even if you HATE your current reality, your nervous system will keep you there simply because its familiar. 

Don’t worry, you can break through this barrier read on for more and get the somatic recalibration THRESHOLD to rewire your subconscious to walk through any threshold with courage and grace. 

Why Your Nervous System Blocks Your Vision

Your nervous system doesn't understand personal growth or spiritual evolution. It understands survival. And it's been trained by every experience you've ever had, especially the early ones, to determine what's "safe" for you to experience.

If money felt bad, impossible or dangerous in your family of origin, your nervous system will find ways to keep you from accumulating wealth.

If being seen as your full self led to criticism or rejection in your past, your nervous system will create obstacles every time you try to be seen.

If success meant isolation or being "too much" growing up, your nervous system will pull you back down every time you start to rise.

This isn't resistance or self-sabotage in the traditional sense. This is your nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do…keep you alive based on the information it has about what's safe and what's dangerous.

The problem is that the "information" your nervous system is working with was largely programmed between the ages of 0-7, during experiences that no longer reflect your current reality or your soul's true desires.

The Gap Between Soul Vision and Your Current Capacity

Here's something I've noticed working with visionary women: The bigger your soul's calling, the more it exceeds your nervous system's current capacity. So of course saying yes to your calling is going to stretch you WAY out of your comfort zone. 

If you're here to do meaningful work in the world, to break generational patterns, to create something that's never existed before…of course your nervous system is going to perceive that as unknown territory (ie unfamiliar. ie uncomfortable). Of course it's going to feel threatening to a system that's wired for survival.

Your soul came here to expand, to evolve, to create new possibilities. But your nervous system is still operating from old paradigm programming designed to keep you small, safe, and part of the pack.

This creates what I call the "Soul Gap" – the space between what your soul knows is possible and what your nervous system feels safe allowing you to experience.

Why Traditional Coaching & Therapy Fall Short

Most personal development focuses on changing your thoughts, setting better goals, or finding more motivation. But if your nervous system isn't on board, all the positive thinking in the world won't create lasting change.

You can affirm abundance all day long, but if your nervous system associates money with danger, it will find creative ways to keep your income capped.

You can visualize yourself as a confident leader, but if your nervous system learned that being visible equals being targeted, it will create "mysterious" obstacles every time you try to step up.

You can journal about self-love until your hand cramps, but if your nervous system doesn't feel safe receiving care and attention, you'll keep attracting relationships and situations that confirm your unworthiness.

The missing piece isn't more clarity about what you want. It's creating capacity in your nervous system to actually receive and hold what you desire.

What Actually Creates Lasting Change?

Real transformation happens when you address the gap at the level where it actually exists – in your nervous system, in your body, in those deep survival patterns that were formed long before you ever thought about having your own vision for your life.

This is what I call Somatic Alchemy – the process of transforming limiting patterns at the cellular level, where they actually live.

When you work somatically, you're not trying to override your protective patterns or convince your nervous system that it's wrong. Instead, you're:

1. Creating genuine safety in your body, so your nervous system can relax its hypervigilance and allow expansion.
2. Rewiring limiting associations, helping your system learn that success, visibility, money, love (whatever you're calling in) can actually be safe for you to experience.
3. Expanding your capacity to hold more, gradually increasing your nervous system's tolerance for bigger experiences, deeper receiving, and greater impact.
4. Integrating your soul's wisdom with your system's intelligence, honoring your body's protective instincts while gently expanding what feels possible.

How to Bridge Your Soul Gap

If you recognize yourself in this post…if you feel that familiar frustration of knowing what you want but struggling to create it…I want you to know that the gap between your vision and your reality doesn’t mean that something's wrong with you.

It's actually a sign that you're ready to do the deeper work of alignment.

Your soul's vision isn't too big or unrealistic, I promise you that. And your current reality isn’t proof that you're somehow broken or incapable of creating what you want. Trust me here… you simply need to bring your nervous system along on this journey of expansion instead of trying to drag it kicking and screaming behind you.

What I’m suggesting has nothing to do with fixing or healing something broken in you. It's really about upgrading your system's capacity. Like expanding the container so it can actually hold the fullness of who you're becoming and everything you're here to create in this lifetime.

Here's where to start:

1. Notice the patterns. Start paying attention to when and how your nervous system pulls you away from your vision. Do you get sick before big opportunities? Create drama when things go well? Procrastinate on your most important goals?
2. Become curious instead of critical. Instead of judging your patterns, get curious about them. Your nervous system is trying to protect you, what might it be protecting you from? What young part of you needs reassurance you’ll be ok? 
3. Create safety first. Before pushing yourself toward your vision, focus on creating genuine safety in your body. This might mean slowing down, setting better boundaries, or working with someone who understands nervous system mastery.
4. Expand gradually. Instead of forcing yourself to fulfill your biggest vision all at once, practice expanding your nervous system's capacity bit by bit. See yourself speaking on a stage to 1000s? Ok then start by holding small intimate workshops. Small, consistent steps create lasting change.

Know this: the gap between your vision and your reality isn't some permanent life sentence you're stuck with. It's actually just information. Really valuable information about where your growth edge lives. And here's what I've seen over and over again: once you learn how to work with your nervous system instead of constantly fighting against it, you'll be shocked at how quickly things can start to shift.

Your soul's vision is completely valid and placed on your heart by divine design. That desire for more is sacred, and it's not going anywhere. And your nervous system…well, it's not actually the enemy here, even though it might feel like it is sometimes. It's actually the key to unlocking everything you're here to create. You just need to learn how to speak its language.

Ready to bridge the gap between your soul's vision and your lived reality? This is the core of my Somatic Alchemy Method I do with visionary women. Learn more about working with me here.

About Leandra Rose

Leandra Rose is a Master Guide for spiritual visionaries & entrepreneurs, blending over a decade of expertise in somatic healing, nervous system mastery, and purpose-driven mentorship. Her signature approach has helped thousands break free from limiting patterns, heal deep emotional imprints, and align their lives with their soul’s mission.

Through Leandra’s programs, leaders unlock authentic self-expression, embody their spiritual gifts, and cultivate sovereign success that is both purposeful and abundant. With her unique ability to merge intuition and strategy, Leandra empowers you to step boldly into your divine calling and manifest the impactful, prosperous life you’re here to create.

Client Testimonials  

“I’ve done all the health things: red light therapy, supplements, healing modalities but this energetic shift I just experienced was more powerful than all of that combined. Now I feel like the sky’s the limit. I have the power to stay calm, clear, and embodied, even when things feel chaotic. I know I’ll carry this forward, not just for myself, but for my family. You gave me a tool I’ve been searching for my whole life and I can access it in a split second. That’s life-changing.”
- Kerry Anne, Mother & Entrepreneur

“If you have been through traditional therapies and have an understanding of cause and reaction but still find yourself in that hazy fog of why can’t I make that shift to embrace more of what you know is possible, you may be stuck in fight and flight as I was. 

Consider Leandra’s warm, caring, and gentle walk through Somatic Therapy that taps into the subconscious allowing it to effectively soothe the nervous system by offering an alternative safe, reaction to life’s daily obstacles both small and large that bog one down and allowing you to reach out and welcome your greater self.

Leandra helped me find and own my graceful strength that offers the power and strength to move forward and embrace life more fully.”
- Sharla H., Artist & teacher

“Working with Leandra, I have been able to dramatically reduce my anxiety and fears, identify what I desire in life, and take steps towards honoring my true self. Leandra balances compassion, intuition, and action in a supportive environment that allows for rapid emotional and spiritual growth. I would highly recommend anyone dealing with unresolved issues, or feeling like there is “more” to life, to have Leandra guide you to what is possible."

 - Sarah F., Human Resources Manager, Scottsdale, Arizona