Why Visibility Feels Like Life or Death

You know that moment when someone asks you to speak at an event, be interviewed on a podcast, or even just post a video sharing your thoughts? That split second when your body goes into survival mode…your mind goes blank or your heart races in a panic. 

Maybe you tell yourself you're just "not good at this stuff" or you're "too introverted" for visibility. But deep down, you know it's something more than that. It feels less like nervousness and more like... danger. Like something terrible will happen if you're truly seen.

If this sounds familiar, I need you to know something: Your body is responding to very real information it learned a long time ago about what happens when you're visible.

For most of us, especially those of us who are highly sensitive or intuitive, visibility didn't feel safe growing up. And our brilliant nervous systems will operate from that old programming until we do the work of rewiring it. 

When Being Seen Became Dangerous

Think back to your childhood. What happened when you were "too much"? When you expressed yourself fully? When you took up space or shared your truth?

Maybe you were the kid who could sense things others couldn't…family tension, when adults were lying, the energy in a room. But when you spoke up about what you felt, you were told you were "too sensitive," "making things up," or "being dramatic."

Maybe you were naturally expressive, creative, or just had a lot to say. But you learned that being "seen" meant being criticized, corrected, or told to quiet down.

Maybe you were intuitive about people's feelings or motivations, but when you shared those insights, you were labeled as "weird," "difficult," or “disturbing the peace.”

Over time, your nervous system learned that being fully visible – sharing your truth, your gifts, your authentic expression – could cost you love, safety, and belonging.

So your system developed strategies to keep you safe: dim your light, blend in, don't stand out, don't be "too much." Because in your young nervous system's assessment, it was safer to be unseen than to risk rejection for who you really are.

How This Shows Up Now

Fast forward to today. You're an adult with valuable insights, gifts, and wisdom to share. But that old dysfunctional programming is still running in the background, especially when it comes to visibility opportunities.

This might look like:

Physical symptoms that feel completely disproportionate to the actual "threat" –  nausea, shaking, feeling like you can't breathe

Mind going blank right when you need to speak or perform, even when you know your material inside and out

Perfectionism that keeps you from putting anything out there because it's never "good enough"

Chronic preparation without ever actually stepping into visibility. Endless course taking, research, "getting ready to be ready"

Self-sabotage right before big visibility opportunities. Getting sick, technical issues, suddenly forgetting important details

Feeling exposed and vulnerable even when sharing things that aren't particularly personal

Here's what's really happening: Your nervous system is treating visibility like a survival threat because, based on your early experiences, it genuinely was one.

The Visibility Paradox

Here's the cruel irony: The very gifts that made you "too much" as a child – your sensitivity, your intuition, your ability to see what others miss – are exactly what the world needs from you now.

But your nervous system doesn't know that. It's still operating from the belief that being fully seen and expressed is dangerous to your survival.

This creates what I call the "Visibility Paradox.” The more important your message is, the more your nervous system will resist sharing it. Because if it mattered enough to get you in trouble before, surely it will again.

And of course if you’re here with a big mission, you’re going to ruffle feathers, you’re going to challenge the status quo. That ain’t comfortable but it doesn’t have to mean life or death. 

The Cost of Staying Hidden

When you let these visibility triggers run your life, you're not just limiting yourself. You're withholding your gifts from the people who desperately need them.

That insight that could change someone's life stays trapped inside you.
That program that could transform businesses never gets created.
That authentic expression that could give others permission to be themselves remains hidden.

The world doesn't need another version of what everyone else is already saying. It needs your unique perspective, your specific gifts, your particular way of seeing and being.

But none of that can happen if your nervous system is convinced that visibility equals danger.

Creating Safety for Your Visibility

The good news is you can absolutely teach your nervous system that visibility is safe . But it's not about pushing through the fear or forcing yourself to "just do it." It's about slowly expanding your window of tolerance for being seen.

Here are some ways to begin:

• Practice Low Stakes Visibility First

Start by sharing your thoughts in online groups where you're not the main focus. Comment on posts, share insights in forums, or respond to others' content. This lets you practice having a voice without the intensity of being center stage.

• Use Your Body as Your Guide

Before any visibility opportunity, check in with your body. Does this feel like a "stretch" or does it feel like "danger"? A stretch might make you nervous but still feels doable. Danger feels overwhelming and shuts you down. Honor where you are and choose accordingly. Eventually you can expand your capacity for more. 

• Create Rituals That Ground You

Develop rituals that help regulate your nervous system before going live or publishing a powerful post. This might be meditation, calling a supportive friend, or even just putting your hands on your heart and reminding yourself why your message matters.

• Find Your Visibility Style 

Not all visibility has to look the same. Maybe you're more comfortable writing than speaking. Maybe you prefer small group settings to large stages. Maybe you thrive in intimate conversations rather than broad broadcasting. There's no  right" way to be visible, only your way.

• Celebrate Small Wins 

Every time you choose to be seen instead of hiding, celebrate it. Your nervous system learns through positive reinforcement. The more evidence you give it that visibility can be safe and even enjoyable, the more it will relax its guard.

This is exactly what you'll find in the Business Temple Mastermind, a safe container to practice being fully seen and celebrated for who you truly are. Join the waitlist here to be the first to know when doors open.

The goal isn't to eliminate the fear completely,  it's to expand your capacity to act with courage even when the fear is present. Because on the other side of that fear is everything you're meant to create.

If this resonates and you feel ready to explore healing your relationship with visibility, I'm here when you're ready to take that step. You can learn more about how I support women through this work here.

About Leandra Rose

Leandra Rose is a Master Guide for spiritual visionaries & entrepreneurs, blending over a decade of expertise in somatic healing, nervous system mastery, and purpose-driven mentorship. Her signature approach has helped thousands break free from limiting patterns, heal deep emotional imprints, and align their lives with their soul’s mission.

Through Leandra’s programs, leaders unlock authentic self-expression, embody their spiritual gifts, and cultivate sovereign success that is both purposeful and abundant. With her unique ability to merge intuition and strategy, Leandra empowers you to step boldly into your divine calling and manifest the impactful, prosperous life you’re here to create.

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Consider Leandra’s warm, caring, and gentle walk through Somatic Therapy that taps into the subconscious allowing it to effectively soothe the nervous system by offering an alternative safe, reaction to life’s daily obstacles both small and large that bog one down and allowing you to reach out and welcome your greater self. 

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