You can describe a client's breakthrough down to the detail. You know exactly what she walked in with, what shifted in her body halfway through the session, and what she did differently the next week.

Then you open a blank page to write your sales copy, and this comes out: “I help women step into their power and live as their true selves.”

Spiritual women often stay vague in their marketing because being specific feels risky to their nervous system. When you name exactly who you help and what changes for her, some people will feel left out. A body that learned long ago to keep everyone comfortable reads that as danger, so it reaches for words that can't offend anyone.

Vague copy feels safe because nobody can disagree with it

“I help you live as your true self” is a lovely sentence. Nobody will ever argue with it. That's exactly why your body likes it.

A specific line is different. “I help women going through a divorce stop rehearsing arguments in their head at 2am” says who it's for, and in the same breath it says who it isn't for. It's an opinion, said out loud, in public.

In my work I call the need to please everyone with vague copy the Performer pattern. It's the fawn response showing up in your marketing. The therapist Pete Walker, who coined the term, describes fawning as using people-pleasing to defuse conflict and win approval. One of its signs is staying neutral so you don't upset anyone, even when you have a clear view. Vague copy is the marketing version of “Oh, I'm fine with whatever works for you.”

The Performer is one of four visibility patterns I see in high-achieving women. The other patterns show up as polishing your copy for weeks, staying in the vision instead of taking bold action on it, and pushing hard until you burn out and collapse. Most women run two or three of these patterns.

The smarter and more spiritually mature you are, the sneakier these patterns can be.

You learned these rules long before you started a business

This pattern started with you being smart.

Somewhere along the way, you learned rules like these:
Don't brag.
Don't make anyone uncomfortable.
Be humble about what you've accomplished.
Definitely don't say anything that could offend.

Those rules worked. They kept you liked, they got you promoted, and they made you the woman everyone trusted.

Researchers call this backlash avoidance. Women play down their wins because they've learned there's a social cost for stepping outside the good girl role. And one study found it happens even when nobody's watching. In the research, when women and men did equally well on a test, the women rated themselves lower. They kept doing it after they were told their exact scores, and even when no one would ever see their answers. Women have learned to downplay their own power and intelligence.

Your nervous system learned those rules for good reasons, and it kept you safe when you needed it. But you're allowed to put them down now.

If you want to know which of the four visibility patterns you run, and what to do about it, start with my free 90-minute workshop, PERMISSION. You'll learn all four patterns, find your own, and do the breathwork that upgrades the visibility ceiling in your nervous system. Get free access to PERMISSION here.

Spiritual language makes the rules easy to hide behind

Here's where it gets tricky for spiritual women. The rules don't look like rules anymore. They look like values. Virtues, even.

“I serve everyone” sounds like oneness. “I don't want to put people in boxes” sounds like love. Often it's spiritual bypassing, using spiritual ideas to step around the uncomfortable work. It shows up as compulsive kindness, the kind that can't say no.

Being specific is a boundary. That boundary is designed to cut some people out. When you name who your work is for, you're also naming who it isn't for. If your body still thinks setting boundaries isn't nice or safe, you'll keep your copy wide open, and you'll call it being inclusive.

But that “inclusivity” is exactly what keeps your perfect fit clients from raising their hand to work with you.

Your clients need you to be specific

The irony is that vague copy leaves the clients you want to help feeling unseen.

In a study of more than 1,000 customer service conversations, researchers Grant Packard and Jonah Berger found that concrete language made customers more satisfied and more likely to buy again. Specific words tell people “I heard you.” The woman you're writing for is no different. When she reads a sentence that describes the exact moment she falls into an old pattern, she feels caught in the best way. She thinks, “She knows me.”

Being specific is the generous move. It's how she finds you.

Here's what's going to happen when you break the rules

Write one sentence about your work that's specific enough to leave someone out. Name who your dream client is, the specific thing she struggles with, and what changes for her after working with you.

Your body is going to react. Your throat might tighten. You'll want to add “and anyone else who feels called.” Don't. Put your feet on the floor, take one slow breath down into your belly, and leave the sentence the way it is.

Then post it, or put it at the top of your sales page. A few people won't feel it was for them, and that's the boundary working. And the woman it was written for will reach out and say, “How did you know?”

That's the part nobody tells you. The rules you learned about being a “good girl” kept you liked by everyone but chosen by no one. Being specific gets you chosen by the right ones.

The girl who learned not to brag was smart to not stand out in an environment where it wasn't welcome. She was keeping herself safe back then. The woman you are now gets to be safe and seen (AND PAID) at the same time.

You can stop waiting for permission to say exactly what you do.

Ready to give yourself permission to market your work from the rooftops? Start here.

Questions women ask me about this

Why is it so hard to be specific in my marketing?

Being specific means some people will feel your offer isn't for them. If your nervous system learned to keep everyone comfortable, it reads that as danger and steers you toward safer, vaguer words.

Is niching down unspiritual?

Naming who your work is for is a boundary, and boundaries are part of a mature spiritual life. Serving the right clients well helps more people than speaking vaguely to everyone. Its ok that you are not for everyone. 

How do I start being more specific?

Write one sentence that names who you help and what changes for her, and breathe through the urge to soften it. If you want to find the visibility pattern behind the urge to stay vague, my free PERMISSION workshop walks you through all four.

About the author

Leandra Rose

Leandra Rose is a somatic coach for women founders, healers and coaches. She has spent over 10,000 hours in one-on-one sessions and guided more than 2,000 people through breathwork, somatic hypnosis and nervous system work, so they can be seen and paid for their sacred work.

She lives in Sedona, Arizona.

Work with Leandra 1-on-1 →

Client Testimonials

“Before working with Leandra, I had so much pain around feeling invisible and not feeling like I had access to my voice. After our first session, I have consistently shown up and brought the medicine of who I am to my work and my social media. I also had my highest ever cash month in my business while working with Leandra.”

Mariko Brenner · Transformational Coach / CEO, Modern Muse

“Since working with Leandra, I am so much more confident in my truth. I can speak it with my voice shaking less. She makes you feel seen, heard, and understood, helping you fill in your perceived cracks with pure gold.”

Sherri Kirk · Owner of Moonlight Soul Tuning