Why Your "Good Girl" Act Is Slowly Killing Your Soul

You know that feeling when you catch a glimpse of who you really are - maybe in a moment of creative flow, or when you're alone in nature, or in those rare conversations where you feel completely seen - and you think, "This is me. This is who I'm meant to be."

And then you go back into the world…

Someone makes a comment.
A family member raises an eyebrow.
A colleague seems uncomfortable with your energy.
Your partner makes that face.

And suddenly, your authentic self gets shoved back into the closet like an embarrassing secret.

If this sounds familiar, you're not broken or weak or "too sensitive."

You're experiencing something that happens to those of us who weren’t raised by enlightened adults (ie 99% of us): Self Abandonment.

And it's not your fault. But it is stealing your life. And of course I’m going to tell you how to stop this from happening. 

The Real Cost of Living as Your "Acceptable Self"

What most people don't realize is every time you betray your true self to keep others comfortable, you're not just dimming your light…you're literally fragmenting your soul.

You start living as what I call your "Acceptable Self" - the version of you that won't ruffle feathers, won't trigger anyone's insecurities, won't risk rejection.

The Acceptable Self:

• Says yes when she means no
• Apologizes for taking up space
• Hides her weird, wild, wonderful ideas
• Makes herself small so others feel comfortable
• Chooses "safe" over true, every single time

And while your Acceptable Self might be well-liked and socially successful, she's also slowly suffocating your actual life force.

Who Were You Before the World Told You Who You “Should” Be?

I spent 15 years as a kindergarten teacher, and what I discovered shaped everything I know about human potential.

Five year olds who haven't yet had their true selves crushed will tell you, without hesitation:

• They have a vision for the world
• They know what's right and wrong (not just culturally, but actually)
• They believe they can change things that don't make sense
• They trust their inner knowing completely

Ask a five year old why there's hunger on the planet when there's enough food for everyone, and they'll look at you like you're crazy. "Because that's stupid," they'll say. "We should just give food to hungry people."

They haven't learned yet that "that's not how the world works." If society would let them, they’d solve most of the world’s problems in one generation. 

But here's what no one tells you: that five year old visionary is still inside you.

She’s buried under layers of "be realistic," "don't be too much," "who do you think you are?" - but trust me she’s in there…absolutely and completely intact.

The Moment Your True Self Went into Hiding (And Why Your Nervous System Won't Let Her Out)

Somewhere between ages 0-7, when your brain was in a hypnotic, suggestible state, you learned that being your true self wasn't safe.

Maybe you were told you were "too loud" when you were innocently expressing your joy.
Maybe your sensitivity was labeled "too much" when you were actually feeling everyone's emotions.
Maybe your big dreams were met with "that's nice, honey, but be practical."

Your brilliant nervous system did what it was designed to do: it created a survival strategy. It learned to scan for approval, to shape-shift to fit in, to prioritize belonging over authenticity.

Because for a child, rejection = death.

But here you are, decades later, still living by that ancient survival code in a world where authenticity won't actually get you banished from the tribe (even if it feels like it might).

Your nervous system just doesn't know that yet.

The Underground Patterns Keeping Your True Self Imprisoned

Through working with thousands of visionaries over the past decade, I've identified the most common patterns that keep your True Self trapped:

"I Must Be Perfect to Be Worthy"

• You delay everything until it's flawless
• You collect certifications instead of sharing your gifts
• You'd rather do nothing than risk making a mistake

"My Boundaries Will Hurt Someone"

• You give and give until you're empty
• You can't say no without feeling guilty
• You put everyone else's comfort before your own truth

"If I'm Needy, I'm a Burden"

• You over-give and undercharge so you don't seem like you're taking too much
• You hide your struggles and handle everything alone
• You'd rather suffer in silence than ask for support

"My Success Will Make Others Feel Small"

• You hide your wins, even from yourself
• You self-sabotage right before breakthroughs
• You dim your light to protect others from their own insecurities

Sound familiar? These are adaptive strategies that once kept you safe but are now keeping you trapped.

What Happens When You Reclaim Your True Self (The Part They Don't Want You to Know)

Your true self isn't just some fluffy, feel-good concept. She's a force. THE FORCE. The literal life force you came here to embody. 

When you're operating from your True Self:

• You make decisions from your inner knowing without needing external validation
• You attract opportunities that actually align with your soul, and can follow through with them without sabotaging. 
• You create work that is meaningful, not just work that pays bills
• You show up with unshakeable presence because you're not performing for the peanut gallery, you’re actually just being yourself. 

And that makes you dangerous to the status quo.

When you were little, your true self was a threat to your family's established patterns. Now, your true self is a threat to systems that profit from your conformity, your people-pleasing, your staying small.

They need you to believe you're not enough as you are. Your liberation depends on knowing that you absolutely are.

The Sacred Practice of True Self Retrieval (What Actually Works)

Here's what I've learned after a decade of guiding people back to themselves: You can't think your way back to your true self. You can't affirm your way there. You can't manifest her with vision boards.

True Self retrieval happens at the somatic level - in your body, in your nervous system, in the places where those early adaptations were first encoded.

It requires: 

✨ Identifying which aspects of yourself you've abandoned
✨ Understanding why your nervous system believes authenticity is dangerous
✨ Creating genuine safety for your true self to emerge
✨ Practicing being all of who you are, even when it's uncomfortable for others

This isn't about becoming someone new. It's about remembering who you've always been.

The Moment Everything Changes (Why Most People Never Get Here)

There comes a moment in every woman's journey when she has to choose:

Keep living as the Acceptable Self - safe, small, suffocating - or risk everything to honor the truth of who she actually is.

Most people never reach this choice point because they're too afraid to look at how much of themselves they've abandoned.

But you're here, reading this, which means you're ready to see.

You're ready to stop betraying yourself for the comfort of others.

You're ready to retrieve the parts of yourself that have been waiting in the wings for permission to exist.

What Becomes Possible When You Live as Your True Self

Imagine walking into any room and feeling completely at home in your own skin.

Picture making decisions based on what feels true to you, not what others expect.

Envision creating work that flows from your authentic gifts rather than forcing yourself into someone else's blueprint.

See yourself setting boundaries without guilt, expressing your needs without shame, taking up exactly the amount of space your soul requires.

This is what happens when you do the deep work of True Self retrieval (my signature process you learn inside of TRUE SELF)

The Sacred Work That Changes Everything (What You Can't Learn from a Blog Post)

Understanding your patterns is just the beginning.

The real transformation happens when you learn to:

• Identify the specific moments when you abandoned your true self
• Rewire your nervous system to feel safe being authentic
• Practice holding your truth even when others disapprove
• Integrate the abandoned aspects of yourself back into wholeness

This is embodied work. Somatic work. The kind of healing that happens in your cells, not just your mind.

This is the work I guide you through in TRUE SELF - a deep dive into reclaiming every aspect of who you really are.

Ready to stop living someone else's life and finally come home to yourself? Get instant access to TRUE SELF and discover what it feels like to be completely, unapologetically authentic in every area of your life.

About Leandra Rose

Leandra Rose is a Master Guide for spiritual visionaries & entrepreneurs, blending over a decade of expertise in somatic healing, nervous system mastery, and purpose-driven mentorship. Her signature approach has helped thousands break free from limiting patterns, heal deep emotional imprints, and align their lives with their soul’s mission.

Through Leandra’s programs, leaders unlock authentic self-expression, embody their spiritual gifts, and cultivate sovereign success that is both purposeful and abundant. With her unique ability to merge intuition and strategy, Leandra empowers you to step boldly into your divine calling and manifest the impactful, prosperous life you’re here to create.

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Client Testimonials  

“Working with Leandra, I received the permission I needed to step into what’s already mine. I feel empowered to take deeply intuitive risks in relationships and my career more than ever before. I feel connected to my body and my inner wisdom in a way that allows me to trust myself and my process of being human.” 

-Jessie H., Boulder, CO, Author

“Leandra’s capacity to hold space for me and my feelings is one like I’ve never experienced before. Through our sessions, she helped me see the fullness and brightness of my being, especially in times when I felt like I could never see it again.  From where my level of anxiety and self-love was when I first met Leandra to where it is now is truly amazing. I would recommend her in a heartbeat to anyone struggling with their emotions or feeling stuck. She is a beautiful, pure soul who understands and shows you a new, brighter way of seeing things and being.”

-Kristin Simon, Venice, CA, Marketing & Content Manager

 
“Working with Leandra, I have been able to dramatically reduce my anxiety and fears, identify what I desire in life, and take steps towards honoring my true self. Leandra balances compassion, intuition, and action in a supportive environment that allows for rapid emotional and spiritual growth. I would highly recommend anyone dealing with unresolved issues, or feeling like there is “more” to life, to have Leandra guide you to what is possible."

 - Sarah, Human Resources Manager, Scottsdale, Arizona